| "If a woman is bent on
achieving orgasm, she can end up missing out on the pleasure of everything else--and
missing out on orgasm," says Sharon Nathan, Ph.D., a sex therapist and clinical
assistant professor of psychology in psychiatry at Cornell University Medical College in
New York City. "However, if she's bent simply on achieving pleasure, she's not going
to end up that far from orgasm."
The truth is, most women don't achieve orgasm every
time, but they do enjoy sex tremendously. According to one nationwide survey, 29 percent
of women say that they always have orgasm, while 40 percent say that they're extremely
pleased with their sex lives. Do the math: Lots of women enjoy sex whether they have an
orgasm or not.
That's not to say that orgasm isn't particularly
pleasant. It's the wonderful release of delightful tension that builds during sex. When
you're aroused, extra blood flows to your genitals, creating this tension. In the moment
of release, your vaginal muscles contract and release rapidly in spasms of extreme
pleasure, says Dr. Nathan.
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- Secrets of a Satisfying Climax
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- Assuming that your doctor has ruled out medical
reasons for an orgasm problem, says Barbara Bartlik,
M.D., a psychiatrist and sex therapist with the Human Sexuality Program at New York
Hospital-Cornell Medical Center in New York City, there is really nothing holding you back
from a good orgasm--or several. The obstacles that most often stand in the
way--inhibitions, communication problems, inexperience, fear of letting go, stress and
depression--can be overcome, says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Orange,
California, and author of Sexual Pleasure and Talk Sexy to the One You Love.
Here's what you can do.
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Because of the changes in hormone levels throughout a women's lifetime,
women may experience a variety of symptoms such as: P.M.S, menstrual irregularities,
weight gain or loss, anxiety, menopause, and/or the lack of desire or energy for sex.
Herbal remedies for treating various problems associated with the female reproductive
organs have been used for centuries. Yohimbe bark, Licorice root, Damiana, Saw
palmetto, Siberian ginseng, Histidine, Vitamin B-6, and Niacin have worked for years in
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